What do people usually say when they appreciate a woman? You are so pretty, no wonder you got the promotion! You are so lucky, your husband lets you work. Despite being a woman, you have done an incredible job! Heard any of these before? Sure you did.
Does any of these sound like a compliment? Of course not. Why can’t we appreciate a woman without being sexist or patronizing?
We need to make a quantum change in the way we perceive women in our society. Not just in terms of their role & rights but also the very basic idea of being an individual who is capable of anything & everything humanly possible.
Complimenting a person is an art. It is a way to show that you admire the person for his/her skills, choices or achievement. While all of us do it but most of us do it horribly wrong, unintentionally or many a time deliberately.
How to appreciate a woman in a genuine way?
Why is it so difficult to accept the fact that a woman can be successful? The majority of people including men & women don’t seem to realize that we are living in 2017.
Success & failure are not determined by gender but sheer dedication & hard work. Women are active in all spheres.
Compliment her for the job she did, not her appearance
Believe it or not, there are many ways to appreciate a woman without drifting towards her looks. For a change, her intelligence, career, skills are good enough to be discussed.
DO NOT assume that women find it flattering when called hot, sexy or sensuous. Save it for the club & parties. A workplace if not where you should be using these words.
She owns her success, Period.
People look for reasons & excuses to run down a woman’s success. Sounding a bit harsh thing to say. Well, sample this.
” You are so lucky to have a husband who supports you. He allows you to work late hours, babysit, and do household chores. Lucky you” ( isn’t he supposed to be doing all these things for his own wife, kid & house?!)
“Are you planning to work after marriage or kid? ( Try asking this question to a man)
A woman can be a celebrated entrepreneur, an amazing artist, politician or anything she wants to be. She has reached a place not because she was ‘Allowed’ to do so but because she worked hard for it.
NEVER undermine the efforts of an individual by bringing it down to unimportant issues like gender.
Despite being a woman’ is a darn thing to say
Yes, we mean it. It is probably the least respectable way of showing your appreciation. Being a woman is not an obstacle. These words trivialize everything women have achieved so far. In a civilized society, every element plays an important part.
One section can’t dominate or determine the role of others. It will create disharmony at the ground level. This is exactly what we are facing at the moment.
The least you can do is to maintain a balance by not being sexist in your conversation & conduct.
Women don’t have it easier
The fairer sex has it easier, says who? Al of us struggles at a different level. At the workplace, in personal lives, within ourselves. One thing we all will agree upon that women have to struggle even for basic opportunities & rights.
In many countries including ours, women have to fight for even basic human rights such as education, equal pay & sanitation.
No one has it easier, not you & surely not a woman.
Conversations without Gender jokes are good
Gender jokes are good for WhatsApp forward not for a real conversation. Social media especially WhatsApp forwards are majorly thriving on jokes directed towards women in some form or the other. Most of us take it on our stride & move on.
However, it shows the deep-rooted mindset of people who find it pleasurable to belittle/ make fun of women. You can’t help but wonder how is it even funny?
Bring the same ‘Forwarded’ jokes on a conversion table is a big turn off. Look around, there are way more funny subjects to be talked about. Fyi, women enjoy sports, music & politics as well. The big revelation is it?
Sound Genuine, Not Sarcastic
Agreed, not an easy thing to do but TRY. Complimenting doesn’t come easily to come people. You will have to work on it. Be genuine in your words. A
dding conjectures like you succeed ‘because, because of, despite being, as you are a woman etc reflects on your mental makeup. Refrain from it at all times!
Beauty with the brain is NOT a compliment
What does it even mean? While many think it’s a nice thing to say to a woman but it’s not. By saying this you are establishing the fact that women who are beautiful are not brainy or intelligent women are not beautiful. It is
Let’s admit it, at some point or the other we have either used or fallen victim to masked sexism. Blame it on our conservative society or deep-rooted patriarchy, success & woman are often not put on the same page.
The same mindset forbids us to appreciate a woman for her dedication & accomplishments. Not just men, many women harbor a similar philosophy that a woman can’t succeed on her own.
Learn to take credit for your success & credit other women too
Learn to appreciate women for their efforts without talking about the gender
There is a way to appreciate a woman or girl without bringing her down or cracking a gender joke. It takes a lot of effort to step out & make a mark for ourselves. It is especially difficult for women because of all stereotypes & bias thrown at them.
Next time you are thinking to pass a compliment, think & weight your words. A compliment is supposed to lift the mood & moral not to make the other person awkward or embarrassed. Learn the art of appreciating a woman. It’s not rocket science.