I love you, three simple words, isn’t it? Hell no. Ask me how am I struggling to say these words? Believe me every single day I promise myself, tomorrow I am going to tell her. No hesitation, No mumbling, No asking for notes, no nothing.Simple confession.That’s it.Ya right! Well NO, I can’t ……..Damn it!
You know what, forget it. I can’t …simply can’t. Whenever I see her I go um ……….BLANK. Is it some kind of spell that forbids me from confessing my feelings to her or I simply don’t have B$#@s to approach a girl, look straight into her ( big, beautiful, dreamy, glimmering brown ) eyes and say ” Hey, I am madly in love with you.” Then again better said than done.
Oh sorry, Did I introduce myself? I am ..never mind. What’s in the name. Just for the reference sake lets call me Sid. Now that you are a part of my miserable-one-sided- love- story, how about telling you all how I met HER?This is my favorite part of the story.
I was in 9th grade.Already 5 feet 10 inches tall, reasonably good looking, Class topper & brand ambassador of I-care-damn attitude. Until one day, the day she entered our classroom. A hesitant girl wearing a long floral skirt & a white top, hair flowed over her shoulder, mesmerizing big brown eyes & her face fresh like a morning dew. Am I sounding poetic? Well, to be true I didn’t notice any of this at first. The moment I looked at her I was dumbstruck. My heart skipped a beat, ears were hotter than the rest of the body & eyes shamelessly soaking in her innocence. After a good second look on the next day, I could define her appearance.
Prashant sir, our class teacher, asked me to help her with notes.I said, ” Ok Sir ” with a straight face. And from inside, oh boy, I was jumping with joy. I hurriedly took out all notes & handed over to her. This was the first time I looked at her so closely. I gasped, ” Is she beautiful or is she Beautiful ?”
She used to seat in the front row just ahead of me. Sometimes she used to tie her hair in a loose pony probably the day she used to wash her hair. Her fragrance used to fill the room & I used to feel as if I am amidst thousands of flowers. I wanted to touch her lovely hair, tuck the strand of hair behind her ear that touched her cheeks every now & then. I felt jealous.
One evening I rushed to a departmental store. Sniffed around 10 shampoo bottles & bought the same brand of shampoo she used. Headed straight to my hostel bathroom & took a good bath. When I came out I was smelling just like HER. That was my first ever close encounter with her (figuratively).A step closer may be……
They say when you are in love you lose your appetite & sleep. But It didn’t happen to me. On the contrary, I started taking care of my body & went to bed earlier.Reason ? I wanted to look appealing to her & dreams were the only place where I was able to seat close to her, hold her hand sometimes TALK to her.
After a couple of days she Joined, a welcome party was organized for new staff members & students.The dress code was western formal. I panicked. What am I gonna wear? I called my brother ( my 911 for all the problems ). He gladly arranged a black blazer & trouser with a slim red tie.
On the day of the party, I washed my hair rigorously, shaved twice & for the first time in my life borrowed a face creme from my roommate. Gelled my hair & I was good to go. All the old students reached the assembly hall, the venue for party, tad early to help with the preparations. After some time, people started pouring in. With a sudden sound at the doorstep , my eyes got fixed at the entrance. I was dying to see her. There she came in a pale pink flowing gown. Hair tied in a bun, just a little hint of makeup and a smile that stole my heart the very first day. I was stumped.The whole evening, I walked past her for like thousand times to grab her attention.But whenever she looked at me I looked away. “Idiot” my brain screamed.
After a round of introductions & boring speeches came the moment I waited for the whole evening. Dance. I wasn’t a good dancer in fact I was Mr. two left feet. But the idea of getting close to her was far more alluring than my fear of dancing.We were supposed to pick a partner. I adjusted my tie, ran my hand in my perfectly groomed hair & walked towards her.
“Hi, ” I politely addressed the group of girls.
“Hi They replied in unison.
” I hope you all are enjoying the enjoying the evening,” I said to keep the conversation going without looking at her directly.
” Ya, we are.” rest of the girls replied with giggles & she just smiled.
” Ah, that smile. Kill me .” I said to myself. The girls were looking at me anticipating an invite for a dance but duffer me, I kept on talking nonsense for another 5 minutes. Just then Jaswinder, My classmate, cut in.
“WTF is he doing here?.” I gave him a sharp look but as usual he never bothered
” Hi Ladies, Why you all are standing in a corner. It’s party guys.Come on the hop on the dance floor.” He was a charmer & I looked like a fool there.
” No, one asked us for a dance.” Anisha, one of the fresher, replied while looking at me.I was embarrassed.
” Oh, that’s rude.” Said Jaswinder. ” Boyz” He waved to the group of boys standing at the other corner of the room. They all rushed towards us as if waiting for the signal.
” Boys, How can you not ask these pretty girls for a dance.Come one show some courtesy.” Said the ever gallant Jassi, his nickname. Boys started asking girls & left for the dance floor. Now Only four of us were left me, Jassi, Anisha & her. I was hoping, read praying, that Jassi picks Neha & I am left with my ‘ dream ‘.
” I am confused, I can’t pick one.I can’t break anyone’s heart. Let’s see.” Jassi was talking again.He looked at me for a fraction of second & turned back to the girl.
“Anisha dear, You are so charming. I hope you won’t mind if I dance with your friend.” He took ‘Her’ hand, smirked at me & went away.
“SOB, Jassi u ruined my evening.” I was burning with anger.
” Are we going to stand here for rest of the evening Mr. Shy.” Anisha giggled
” No no , lets go.” I took her hand & joined the rest on dance floor.
Anisha was a graceful dancer & I was finding it pretty hard to match her steps. I was awkwardly moving around for few minutes. The music changed from hip hop to hard rock. Every one went crazy on the dance floor.And I was bumped out.My eyes were glued to her.She was moving with such a grace like a tendril moves with the wind.Delicately, gracefully & without much efforts.
” She is driving me crazy.” I took a deep breath , eyes still fixed on her.Suddenly she bent down & started looking for something frantically. I guess her neck piece was gone. Jassi was helping her. After searching around for some time , Jassi the Hero, found it & with a little drama gave it back to her. She whispered something in his ear ( probably thanked him ) & shook hands. Jassi was smiling like a fool.
” Jerk” I thought,” This is not how I planned it. Jassi ,you will have it from me .” I was cursing him badly under my breath. Although it was not his fault. I was the one who couldn’t muster courage to ask her for a dance.Still Jassi was the villian in my Love story ( soon to be ) .
” I will have my chance & than I won’t let anyone come between us.” I promised myself ……
Will Sid be able to confess his love to her? or Jassi will play the real villain ? Only time will tell. For the next installment of this Mini series stay tuned ……………….Happy reading !!